NOWandZEN

10 Ways to Beat Stress in a Chaotic World

[ Written By Janine S. Pouliot ]

If one word has come to symbolize our 21st-century, high-tech, fast-paced world, it would have to be stress. Remaining constantly connected via BlackBerries and living long days filled with to-do lists that never seem to end, no one is exempt from this unpleasant emotion. High levels of stress have increasingly been linked to depression, anxiety, dementia, high blood pressure and, like we needed anything else to worry about, it has been linked to accelerated aging, especially in women! Although no one can entirely eliminate stress from their life — “Even a bowl of Jello experiences stress: it moves back and forth,” noted Dr. Richard Winer, psychiatrist in private practice and former chair of the department of psychiatry, North Fulton Regional Hospital — we can learn to manage our stress. Adopting certain coping mechanisms can spell the difference between surviving and surrendering. To get a handle on the ubiquitous stress comprising modern life, try the following 10 suggestions.

1 - Let It Go

Stress is only there if we perceive it to be. Although this may sound rather existential, the truth is that if we dwell on the event that’s caused us to feel unsettled, we are inviting stress into our lives. “Our personality style has much to do with our ability to move on and let go,” Winer said. “Some people can do it very easily, others hang on for dear life for long periods of time.”

While simply putting stressful thoughts out of your mind does work, it’s not always easy to implement. That’s why establishing a blueprint is important. “I often tell patients to look for other outlets to allow them to get rid of anger, frustration and anxiety. Most people have an idea of what helps, but they get so caught up in daily stress, they never turn to them. If you love golf or tennis, get back into it. I suggest taking a class in ceramics, photography, whatever you like. And anything involving physical exertion is particularly useful for relieving stress.”

2 - Eliminate the Negative

It’s an old saying, but it holds true, nonetheless: negative people bring you down. Their constant complaining, criticism or downbeat viewpoint puts us at disequilibrium. The problem is we can’t always walk away from negative people, particularly if they happen to be a boss or relative. So the source of stress is constant.

“Part of what makes us so stressed around negative people is that they behave in ways we’d like to see as different, but we can’t change them,” Winer explained. “That’s when we need to think of the serenity prayer recited at any 12-step program. Accept the things you cannot change. Once people take that step, a lot of the pressure is off.”

But that doesn’t mean you need to wallow in it, either. “Try to deal with negative people for as short a time as possible,” Winer advised. In other words, get in and get out. “Then move on to something positive immediately after the interaction. You owe it to yourself to do something nice after.”

3 - Stay Focused

With the many obligations we have toward family, work and community, we all have a full plate. But trying to do everything at once only causes us to short circuit. Dealing with a dozen incomplete chores at the end of the day leaves us unsatisfied and worried.

“Take one task at a time,” noted Eileen Ruban, registered nurse and manager, Saint Joseph’s Hospital ­Cardiac Rehab Program, who advises cardiac patients on ways to deal with stress. “So many of us get overwhelmed thinking of what we have to do for the whole day or the whole week. We get so busy we get into a frenzy. Instead, focus on one thing at a time.”

Ruban offered this simple example: “If you have to clean your whole house, you may think you’ll never get it done. But if you break the task down into its component parts, you won’t feel so weary. Instead, assign yourself just one room, then feel good when it’s done. Then begin another.”

4 - Delegate

It’s not only the sheer volume of tasks we have to accomplish each day, it’s often that we feel we are the only ones capable of doing them. Sometimes we believe we alone know best how to get something done. Alternatively, we may simply be uncomfortable asking for help. “We tend to look at the need to delegate as a weakness, a character flaw,” Ruban pointed out. But that’s the wrong way to go about it. “Delegating can make you stronger. It makes you able to be a better person, a better worker, a better parent.”

And sometimes doing it all actually creates resentment in others. “Most people are willing to help,” Ruban added. “Think of when you’re invited to a dinner party and asked to bring the dessert. You’re happy to do it. When we don’t turn to others either in the office or at home, it takes away from them. It makes them feel bad, like we don’t trust them.” Asking to share responsibility is a way of reaching out to others.

5 - Learn Deep Breathing

You’re in the jungle hunting for dinner and a lion appears. Suddenly your adrenaline kicks in, giving you the strength to run for your life. Obviously we don’t face many lions in our daily routines, but we do face angry bosses, difficult family members or unpleasant associates. Then that same fight-or-flight stress reaction takes over.

“We’ve all been told to take a few deep breaths when we get upset,” said Shane Orfas, yoga and Tai Chi instructor, Saint Joseph’s Hospital. That’s because when the survival instinct comes into play, we begin to pant. “When we take short breaths, we become very anxious. And we tend to stay in that mode long after the stressful event is over.” But long slow breathing helps restore us to a calm state of mind. “When you relax into your breath, your brain gets a rest from the thought stream that’s taken over.”

Start by taking a full belly-deep breath, then slowly exhale, feeling your breath within your body. Luckily, you can do this exercise anywhere and no one will ever know.

6 - Love Yourself

Usually, our own worst critic lies within. Beating ourselves up for all the things we aren’t only leads to poor self-image and low self-esteem. And that’s the greatest stressor of all, noted Janice Turner, international life coach, Roswell. “We spend a lot of time thinking about the way we are supposed to be.” But sometimes our expectations for ourselves are way off the mark.

“When I work with clients, I ask them to rate themselves on how they are doing physically, emotionally, etc.,” Turner said. “I ask them what it would take to make them a perfect 10 in their eyes.” Often their low rating is only a perceptual problem.

“I had one patient who was stressed because she thought she was supposed to be more social. But as we talked, she discovered that she is really a very private person and does have several good intimate relationships. The more she spoke, the more she realized that for her, she had a fine social life.” She ended up rating herself a 10 based on her individual personality style.

7 - Live Well

There’s no substitute for healthy living. Eating right, exercising, refraining from smoking and limiting alcohol consumption all make for a stronger more resilient body. When we’re in good shape, we’re better able to cope with external stress.

But it goes beyond that. Dealing with illness is a huge stressor in itself. “Those who hold onto stress are more likely to experience somatic symptoms like stomach discomfort, aches and pains and headaches,” Winer noted. So following the general guidelines for good health is even more important.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) suggests a diet emphasizing fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains and fat-free or low-fat milk and milk products. Complementing this should be small portions of lean meats, poultry and fish. Select foods low in saturated fats, trans fats, cholesterol, salt and added sugars. Alcohol guidelines include no more than one drink daily for women, two for men.

HHS also recommends engaging in physical activity for at least 30 minutes every day, with increasing intensity over time. Children and teenagers should be physically active for 60 minutes daily.

8 - Laugh a Lot

Recent research shows that laughing is genuinely good for you. There’s a physiological reason why an energetic yuk can reduce stress levels in the body, said Debbie Bickes, registered nurse, perinatal education coordinator and member of the Wellness Committee at North Fulton Regional Hospital. “Laughing almost instantaneously produces health benefits.”

During stress, the adrenal glands release corticosteroids, which have a wide impact on various systems in the body. These hormones are then converted into cortisol, which, when elevated in the blood stream, increases blood pressure, blood sugar and suppresses the immune system.

But when you let out a forthright chuckle, hormone levels are quickly brought back into balance. Suddenly you feel more tranquil. “Having a sense of humor when faced with stressful situations can help change your perspective,” Bickes noted.

To start down the path of lightheartedness, Bickes suggested watching a silly movie or encouraging family members to tell a joke or amusing story at the dinner table. “But it’s also important to know what’s not funny,” she warned. “Laughing at the expense of others is never good.”

9 - Take a Break

Just when you feel you’re about to explode and you have to get away … go. “There’s nothing wrong with a quick break,” Winer reassured. “Getting away from where you are allows you to recover from stress more easily. If a vacation isn’t in the stars, there are other little tricks to help step back from the worst of it.

“Use traffic to your benefit,” Bickes advised. “People often say they have no time to themselves. Well, you’ve got time in your car. Turn on your radio and listen to soft music. Reflect on the events of the day.” Some commuters enjoy Books on Tape (or DVD). “What you are doing is personal time,” Bickes added.

Alternatively, try for a quick power nap, Winer noted. In the work setting, if you shut your office door or take a walk for a few minutes, you’ll feel more ­rejuvenated.

Even parents need time away. “It brings up the age-old adage quantity versus quality,” he pointed out. “Kids need a break from you as much as you need it from them.”

10 - Talk It Out

Occasionally, even after all the best stress-reducing techniques have been employed, we may still feel a bit crazed with the pressures of life. There’s no need to feel ashamed, it just indicates that we might benefit from some outside counsel. It’s nice to handle things on your own, pointed out Winer, but when that’s not working, you may need to seek help from a professional. “Sometimes that means simply talking things through. Or it might require medication, as well. Either way, you should be prepared to go,” he said.

We can’t always do life alone, Turner concurred. “We do need to create a community of support, whether it’s church or a tennis team. We enjoy a more peaceful life when we don’t always have to resolve stress in our own head.”

Community serves another purpose, as well. It allows us to gather feedback on whether or not we’re interpreting the world around us accurately, overreacting or misreading the cues. Answers we find through support groups may be just what the doctor ordered for overcoming routine stress. PN

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